The Pursuit to be the best Husband as written by mein Mann

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahhim,

This project will start today and continue for the rest of my life Insha’Allah. From today on, I will study about marriage and family every single day of my life and share my knowledge with everybody who values my effort to be a good husband and Father.

May Allah accept this humble effort of mine to pursuit being the best Husband Insha’Allah. So I can do my part to help my family reunite in Jannah someday.Insha’Allah

What is my inspiration?

The first thing that comes through my mind when I think about inspiration is Jannah. This is the one inspiration, which truly is the only real inspiration.

Inspiration is the enormous source of life. We all need an inspiration otherwise we can’t reach our dreams. So when I think about my inspiration it think like….. I am the one who will continue my blood line one day. The only reason why I am on this earth is Allah give me life and give me a mother and a father. My children will have a mother and father and their children too and the children of my children too…..

So how beautiful will it be to be reunited with all the generations from the past and future of your family in Jannah. Isn’t that the best inspiration ever? I can be the cornerstone that starts to build a new house.

This is an enormous responsibility that I have to be aware of, before getting married. To get ready for this I must prepare myself. Prepare means to read as many as books as I can, to study all aspects of life consciously and to pray to Allah to guidance me to the right path. This is a process that will endure until the day I die. Without seeking for more and more blessings from Allah day by day I will fail.

Today I just realize that it’s not enough to just try to be a better Muslim day by day. Jazak’Allahu Khairan to the person who teach me this lesson. It may be enough if I just live on my own but if I want to start a family I must be ready for this, and continue striving to be the best husband every day. Marriage contains all facilities from Islam. If I master to be a good husband, I can master the trial of life.

I do have responsibility to my wife and kids as well. So therefore I must be the best example that is possible.

The Prophet Pbuh said, “Each child is born in a state of “Fitrah”, then his parents make him a Jew, Christian or a Zoroastrian, the way an animal gives birth to a normal offspring. Have you noticed any that were born mutilated?” [Collected by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

So may Allah guide me and accept my effort to be the best father and husband for my family. And may Allah guidance my family to reach Jannah one day. Amin I ask Allah for forgiveness.

How to start the pursuit to be best Husband?

follow Muhammad Rassoulallah pbuh is the best Husband ever and also ever will be…….


Before emulate the Prophet (pbuh) I have to get rid of all the things in this world that I love too much. Our prophet (pbuh) already has been the best human but I am not. I have to let go everything that chain me to dunya too much.

So there is Islamic concept called Aschq and it defines the passionate love to sophistication. Right now I do feel that passionate love to a special person in my life but if I want to truly become a good Husband I must let it go. That is not mean that I should not love her at all but I must be aware of my true Love to Allah (swt). My true love to Allah will help me to control my love with the Islamic requirements.

The best love is to Allah (swt) and the Prophet (pbuh). Our Love to Allah’s creation is a manifestation of his dignity that is given to us in the beauty of this world. The Prophet (pbuh) teaches us that the mercy of Allah is split into 100 pieces and Allah will let us know 99 of them in Jannah. The love is the only thing that Allah already give us in dunya. This love is ubiquitous all over Allah’s creation.

Love is the best thing that Allah give all his creation in this world, so we should love all facilities of life because of Allah but not because of our dependence to the things itself. But I must be aware of my real that my real love is to Allah. This is also the reason why we always should say: I love u because of Allah

Our prophet (pbuh) said: “The best of you is the best to his wife and I am the best to my wife.” It is not said: whoever loves his wife the most…….So I think I can learn out of this hadith that love maybe isn’t always the best that I can give to my wife one day. I shouldn’t be blinded from love.

Alhamdulillah I can get a lot of Baraka today and feel more ready to love. Ar Rahman Ir Rahim shall May Love to Allah and his creation be the water of life.

Cherchez la Muslima J

In France people say: “Cherchez la femme” which means: “Search for the woman”. So there is always a woman standing behind every successful man. And if this is true there must be also always be a Muslimah standing behind every successful Muslim.

James Brown say: This is a man’s world but it would be nothing without a woman……And yes this might be a man’s world at some point……

Allah (swt) mentions in the Holy Quran:

„Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth……” (4:34)

Allah created Hawa out of Adam’s rib. The ribs hold the chest together and protect the most important part of the body…..the heart. And what would be heart without a woman……?

My inspiration is Jannah but my motivation might be my wife. I feel that motivation from a special person in my life right now and I just pray that Allah gives me the best that I deserve…..

I want to be a teacher to my wife. I always want ask her opinion and ask her for advice…the same way our Prophet did it.

When our Prophet (pbuh) set the conditions about the contract of Hudaibiya, some companions of Rasoullalah (pbuh) have been concerned. So he went to his wife asked her about her opinion and followed her advice. Rasoullalh surely does not need to ask advice from anybody but by doing so, he showed all Muslim that it’s nothing wrong about talking serious issues with your wife and follow her advice.

I can see so much Baraka in this story of our beloved Prophet. This is the best way to treat my wife someday and this is also the best way to make her respect me.

I want to be a good teacher for her by just doing without asking for reward. I already will receive my reward from Allah (swt). And if I want to have a positive impact on my wife, I must start to change by myself first and foremost.

The reason everybody loved our Prophet so much is, because he always kept his word and let speak his actions instead of his word. He just speak if it was necessary or if Allah told him so.

So may Allah give me the strength to implement this beautiful behavior of Muhammad (pbuh) and make me to a good role model for my Family…..Amin


Such an easy word, but when it comes about to implement Sabr in times of extreme hardship…’s a whole different story.

Circumstances can be hard….like distance, fear of loss, family matters, love….but isn’t that the time it really matters to show patients!?

O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient. (2:153)

Allah is with the patient means that just the patient will prevail. Half of our Deen is Sabr and the second half is gratitude to Allah Ta’Ala. Always when I can find a lack of Sabr within myself it’s because I try to change the condition of something.

Allah (swt) says: “For his sake there are angels following one another, before him and behind him, who guard him by Allah’s commandment; surely Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own condition; and when Allah intends evil to a people, there is no averting it, and besides Him they have no protector.”

I am not the one who can change anything. I know nothing and Allah knows everything. If my goal is to become a good husband I need to understand that in all aspects. The Sabr within your family and ur wife that is required will outweigh everything.

Our beloved Prophet said: “The condition of the believer is worthy of envy and admiration, because every state they are in is a cause of benefaction. Such a quality is unique to the believer: When they are delighted, they praise and this is a benefaction; when they suffer harm, they show patience and this is also a benefaction.”

I say I love,

No need to cry,

My sins are huge,

Potential of YOUR grace

My pain is big,

Sabr is the key,

The mercy of YOU,

Find Love from YOU

…Allah loves the patient. (3:146)


If I choose Istafa that means that I choose a choice that is purely my own without explanation and without any outside impact.

So Istafa is a choice without explanation. Allah (swt) did this by choosing the Prophets. We don’t know why Allah choose this or that Prophet from this or that tribe and Allah did not explain to us.

Ijtaba is a choice that is made of reasonable. Allah Ta’Ala did that by choosing Men to be the caretaker on earth. We maybe can’t understand the reason but Allah, because of Allah is Al Al’im.

I think that Allah bring me to Islam for a reason. I think that I am not worthy enough to be Allah Ta’Ala’s servant and I don’t struggle for Allah as Allah deserve it but Allah choose me to be part of this Ummah for a reason….Alhamdulillah.

I can find great example in the story of Ibrahim (as) and his wife Hajar. They had so much struggle together but never lost hope in Allah and his decision. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) also did not know why he was picked but Allah knows.

I must be grateful and honored to emulate the struggle of Ibrahim (as) and Muhammad (pbuh).

My Life always has been about having a choice and making my own decision. Sometimes Life is about making a decision based on Istafa or Ijtaba and move forward.

Fear of loss, uncertainty, hope……. sometimes interact with decision making. But to truly move forward I must let everything go. Hope is a concept just for Akhira. Hope maybe dies at last but it will die inevitable.

Hope is deeply connected with Motivation. Motivation may also die or change.

My Motivation lost the key to my heart….and now my Motivation is vanishing and I know I have to make Ijtaba to find a new one….


Muraqabatullah can be defined as the way to live Ikhlas. It means to live my life in sincerity and to be aware that Allah Ta’Ala always watch me.

Allah say: “….And not absent from your Lord is any [part] of an atom’s weight within the earth or within the heaven or [anything] smaller than that or greater but that it is in a clear register.” (10:61)

This is not but Your trial by which You send astray whom You will and guide whom You will.

“My punishment – I afflict with it whom I will, but My mercy encompasses all things.” (7:155/156)

When I do sin, my heart is full of pain. But this pain vanishes to quick. It should stay much longer and remind me every second when I am about to sin again, to stay away from it to seek seek forgiveness from Allah.

I read that very beautiful Hadith in which Muhammad (pbuh) say that the Angels spread their wings for the person who is seeking for knowledge and that everybody will be in the company with the people they loved as long as they make Tauba. This door to Jannah won’t be closed until the sun rises in the west.

This Hadith really give me hope to reach Jannah with my family in Akhira.

Ar-rumi considered the way of Muraqaba as a protect shield from bad emotions, thoughts, biases and actions. He saw this to be safest way to follow the the rights from Allah.

To live my life in selfcontrol I must always be self critical (muhasaba). The mechanism of muhasaba helps myself to reflect about my sins premature and to find arrangements to stay away from that sins.



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