In Need to Love Writing

my writing table

my writing table

As you can see from my previous post, you know that I never doing well with productivity or routine. Last July, I did most of things that I planned, except blogging, learning Arabic and watching TED video. This July was the month where I got stuck to rewrite my novel. At first, i thought that I will just edit it fast and voila my novel is finished, but infact the story that I wrote years ago doesn’t resonate me anymore. The words in my head change as I read more and my belief went to a long searching journey. I put all my efforts to rewrite the voice of my character. I cut almost half of each chapter, and write it again. A that time i really wonder whether this rewriting idea is a noob trial or an act of professionalism, but my mind got stuck on the first one. I am a total amateur.

I thought I could start blogging again on August, but then my German course take five of my productive hours, i was too overwhelmed with the new routine and i still hadn’t finished my re-writing process, so yeah, I found another excuse to not blogging. And let’s talk about September, the most productive time of my life ever (in terms of writing). I finally edited my 200 pages novel for like three times until I didn’t realize that month is already change. Editing process brought me up to the whole new layer of writing-reading experience that I never know before. I even didn’t know when to stop editing, i enjoy it so much so my productivity stucked in putting detail and thinking about the relevancy of my story. Somehow around that month, I also manage to get the whole concept of my second book, which is a non-fiction pile of essay kinda book. Huff can’t wait to finish the first chapter and show it to my first reader.

I also manage to read a ton of new book. I ordered five new Indonesian book and a friend of mine crazily throw me three books to read since last month. There are just much of it.

the first one is just a pencil case y'all

the first one is just a pencil case y’all

I try so much to engage within books on October, so i pushed my self to go to a one day trip to Frankfurt Book Festival, thinking that i need some recharge from this bibpliophile’s heaven. But not really, Frankfurt Buch Messe isn’t for bibliophile and definitely not to be visited for one day. It’s just tons of book end up together in one enormous place. From that i know, bibliophile’s heaven is in the little sofa nearby their book rack.

If one thing that i got from Frankfurt Buch Messe is the chance to have 10 minutes sitting with Tere Liye. There he reminded me of one thing that i really need to learn. He told me to love writing.

Tere Liye offers all comfort book that i need, his books are the books that i will go read whenever i am tired reading too thick book or too complicated one. He gives a good amount of excitement in every book he writes, and man he writes a lot. His writing won’t give you crazy chill or five hours sobbing but it touches, tickles and break your heart in a distinct motion separately. So when i got the chance to talk to him, of course i asked him about his writing style. But surprisingly, he is so pragmatic, he asked me to turn the table, tear down all the theories that i know and to just write. Oh isn’t it what something that someone who always over thinking everything need to hear?

He pointed out that i haven’t love writing yet after i uttered my problem with continuity of writing (yeah he is a pretty straightforward person! kind of shock of that but i should have guessed from his facebook posts tho!). I know that he is right, in fact i love the brainstorming process more than the writing process itself. I have pages of writing ideas that never got executed. Damn girl, i told my self at that time, i have to learn how to love writing!

For him, there is no excuse to not writing everyday for someone who loves writing. Writing for him is also a healing process of cracked soul, that’s why it is so powerful to love it and to do it everyday. I couldn’t agree more, i’ve heard this word before, long ago from 2012 when i heard Asma Nadia giving presentation in Malaysia. I experienced writing as a healing process whenever i feel so low, most of the time i write poetry, because it doesn’t have boundary to utter my deepest dark feeling. But often i don’t write and just  prefer to read books so i can forget my sad mind.

I love reading that’s i know for sure, and since i have a current donatur (a.k.a B) to buy me every book that i want my love is grow crazier. Everyday i read, everywhere, i just can’t not holding a book in a day. And oh man, i want to experience the same feeling with writing, i want to get addicted to writing. Tere Liye said, “Azmi listen to me, write everyday 1000 words for 180 days, never stop and try to always achieve your goal, write anything, everything and once you skipped repeat again from day 1. After 6 months, insha Allah you’ll find your love in writing and feel healed.”

After i met him, the book fair isn’t really important any more, there is no book in Bahasa Indonesia to buy and there is no other author that i want to talk to. Actually, Eka Kurniawan was there but he was going around seeing the booth around, and i don’t want to creep him out to asking him sitting with me (but now when i think about it, i should have just creep him out anyway, duh! like if John Green was disguised in there somewhere i totally will creep him out by buying him a coffee for a 10 minutes talk with him). The thing is, i already hear what i need to hear. So, i spent the rest of the day, laying down in the middle of Indonesia Pavillion, reading Pram’s book about Calon Arang, since that’s the thinnest book from Pram, that i thought i could finish reading it before my train is coming. As i lay down in the children section and looking at the fantastic artificial garden on the ceiling, i can’t stop thinking about the smell of free rendang whether or not i could ever complete my #180daysofwriting or should i call it #1000wordsfor180days #amwriting #noob #amateurwriter #aspringwriter.

For at least 40 days, i already have plan. Nanowrimo or National Novel Writing Month starts next month and a friend of mine (who are an author of 5 books) challenged me to do #30DWC (30 Days Writing Challange) since three days ago! I don’t know what will happen to the other 140 days though, but all i know i will fight for my love for writing. Wish me luck guys, if you also want to challange yourself in writing go check out Rezky’s challange and Nanowrimo.

wpid-c360_2015-10-23-11-12-34-977.jpg

I must… I must also listen to the muttered voice telling me of the past the days to come…. Kartini

With Love,

Azmi

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8 thoughts on “In Need to Love Writing

  1. Wahhh. Ke Frankfurt Book Fair juga. Ketemu Mbak Fe. Deny. Dee Lestari dong.

    Love the way you wrote. Can’t wait reading your book. I am not reading any books now and this is totally my fault. Hiks. Thank you for the reminder. If you were writing about writing, I need to do it for reading. Thank you

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