When I first heard the word “world” my hands are not big enough to reach out one football size globe. My head kept hurts to understand that billions live with me at that exact time. I was so jealous at that time, knowing in the other spectrum of this world there are four season. There, people can see snow, even eat it. But when I first watch a Hindi movie, my eyes suddenly don’t defy all the facts about world. My pupil goes wider and stunned for seeing a creature, a scenery, a language that I never experience before. My iris burst into happiness.
But the spectrum that I saw at that time was too overwhelming. At that time, nobody told me how to appreciate my surrounding. I tried to copy what I saw. Having short hair and wishing every night that I will get more pointed nose soon, so I can look more like Anjali, the character I saw in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I tried hard to be the cleverest, cause that was the only way to befriend those who are coolest. It makes me happy temporarily, but it felt wrong because I am not them; even worse I am not me as a whole.
In time when I put my glasses on, I also put on a filter for me to understand the world; I installed a technicolor glass. It was my attempt to try my best to understand every color by looking at a bigger spectrum. I started to listen more, read more books from different countries, befriend various kinds of people, and sneaking up in the middle of the night to watch a better quality movie from HBO.
It was surprisingly relieving to see the world through this glass. Knowing that my color wasn’t just one to begin with, is a start for me to repel “I could be a rainbow, if I want”; my mantra when I was in middle school, that I believe could bring me here to Germany. This window loosen up my body, it teaches me that wearing orange is never that bad and loving red is not wrong. It shows my true color as much as other people’s.
There is no stranger anymore in my world. This window makes me see that people are just like colors. We are the same because we have the very same basic color, even though the amount of it might be different, even though people have different version on determining their primary colour. We will always have the same incision and share the same spectrum. No strangers, just fellow human being that has totally unique color wheels.
This technicolor window helps me to be a better person to other. By putting my true colors out there, I can understand better those who share the same chords with me. I then also know, what do I need when I met certain hues that I am not familiar with. I adjust my exposure, I saturate better, sometime put a less highlight. I learn more about tint, shade and tone cause I need the best way to perfect my filter in my technicolor window.
I am still learning and I won’t stop, cause I believe the best human being is the one that is the most useful to other. And the first step to be helpful and useful is to understand.